Fix My Mindset

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This month, I want to share something that stopped me in my tracks.

A friend sent me a really down-to-Earth prayer. I read it once… then twice… and then I sat with it.

And if I’m honest? It held a mirror up to me.

Here’s the prayer:

“Dear Lord, Today, fix my mindset -- because who taught me I gotta impress people that ain’t adding to me? Why I feel like I always gotta show up like I got it all together? Break that in me. Teach me discipline, not just appearances. Give me substance behind everything I present. In Jesus’ name. Amen”

Whew.

I shared it with a few people, and the response was immediate. Deep. Emotional. Honest.

Because whether we say it out loud or not… many of us are carrying this.

The Pressure to Perform

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that we had to perform to be accepted.

To look the part.
To sound the part.
To have it all together—even when we don’t.

And let me say this clearly:
That mindset will wear you out.

Because when you’re focused on impressing people who aren’t pouring into you…
you’re investing energy in the wrong direction.

That’s not alignment. That’s exhaustion.

Flip Your Mindset

This is where transformation begins.

Not with a new goal.
Not with a new strategy.
But with a new mindset.

Ask yourself:

• Who am I trying to impress—and why?
• What am I afraid will happen if I just show up as I am?
• Am I prioritizing appearance over substance?

That prayer challenged me to stop and examine where I might still be “performing” instead of being.

And let me tell you something…
Freedom lives on the other side of that honesty.

Discipline Over Appearance

One line in that prayer hit me especially hard:

“Teach me discipline, not just appearances.”

Because appearances can be curated.

But discipline?
That’s built.

Discipline is what you do when nobody is watching.
It’s the consistency behind the scenes.
It’s the substance that holds everything together.

And here’s the truth:

You don’t need to look like you have it all together.
You need to be committed to doing the work that actually moves your life forward.

Yield to the Growth

Let’s be real—breaking old mindsets isn’t easy.

It requires you to sit with some uncomfortable truths:

• Maybe I’ve been seeking validation in the wrong places.
• Maybe I’ve been overcompensating.
• Maybe I’ve been hiding behind “having it together” instead of doing the deeper work.

But this is where growth happens.

Not in perfection…
but in honesty.

Reflection Questions

Take a few moments and sit with these:

1. Where in my life am I prioritizing appearance over substance?
2. Who am I trying to impress—and are they truly adding value to my life?
3. What would it look like for me to focus on discipline instead of perception?
4. What is one area where I can begin to show up more authentically—starting today?

Write your answers down. Don’t rush through them. There’s something waiting for you in that reflection.

Your Next Step

If this message resonated with you, I want to invite you to go deeper.

This is the exact kind of mindset shift I walk individuals and teams through in my work.

Your next step is this:

• Get a copy of my book and companion workbook Getting Out of Your Own Way—where we unpack the real habits and mindsets that quietly hold us back
• Invite me to work with your team or organization—I lead powerful, interactive sessions that help professionals move from performance to purpose
• Explore coaching with me—if you’re ready to do the deeper, personal work around mindset, discipline, and transformation

Visit MatteelSpeaks.com to learn more and take that next step.

Closing Thought

You don’t have to impress people who aren’t investing in you.

You don’t have to perform to prove your worth.

And you definitely don’t have to carry the pressure of “having it all together.”

What you do need…

…is alignment.
…is discipline.
…and a mindset that supports the life you’re building.

It’s your time.

It’s your time to SOAR!

With gratitude,
​Dr. Matteel Knowles

Founder & CEO, MatteelSpeaks, LLC
​It’s Your Time to SOAR!

🌐 www.MatteelSpeaks.com​
📬 Want to connect or share your reflections? Email me at Matteel@MatteelSpeaks.com or find me on LinkedIn, Facebook or Instagram.

IT'S YOUR TIME TO SOAR!"

Dr. Matteel Knowles

Founder and CEO, Matteel Speaks, LLC

www.MatteelSpeaks.com

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​Striving, Overcoming, Achieving, and Reimagining Your Path to Success . . . "SOAR!" is a monthly newsletter from Dr. Matteel to keep you inspired and empowered to transform your life! For more information, visit MatteelSpeaks.com

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